Monday, May 7, 2012

Junior High


One good thing about my 6th grade year was I got my next job as a newspaper boy.

After school everyday I’d wait for the bundles of papers to be delivered, then after putting them together I’d load 50-60 papers in a large canvas bag I’d wear over my shoulder and ride my bike 2 blocks over to begin delivering my papers to people’s mailboxes, porches, and screen doors. Then I’d return home, collect the remaining 80-90 papers and continue on to my second paper route. The whole thing took maybe 2 hours, and it was a great learning experience.

Sundays I had to wake up at 4:00am to combine the much larger Sunday paper (which also hade more customers) so they all had their Sunday paper delivered to them by about 6:30-7:00am. These days, my dad would usually help me by (first getting up that early) and driving me on my route. He’d do one side of the street while I did the other. He also helped by driving me during the winter months when riding my bike was impossible. Often times we’d finish our Sunday morning routines by having breakfast at a local cafĂ© when all our papers were thrown.

Having a paper route taught me a lot of responsibility at an early age. It was my job to see to it that people got their papers where they wanted them, on time, every single day. It was also my responsibility to “go collecting” the money for payment of the papers each week. I myself was billed for the papers, so I had to “collect” from my customers in order to pay my bill. What was left over was my wages (and tips) but I also had to keep good records of who paid and didn’t pay. I don’t know if they still do it that way, but I think a paper route is a great job for a kid. I’m very grateful for what all it taught me and for the time I got to spend with my dad.

Something else which happened early in my 6th grade year was that our family adopted a 6-month-old inter-racial child. I remember having absolutely no problem at all (at the time) with my mom’s choice to do this. I remember even being a little excited at the thought of having an addition to the family. Now, thirty years later (without meaning this personally toward my brother) I have to say I really question my mom’s choice in doing this, but since that issue could be an entire post itself, I’ll leave that thread to a minimum for now.

My family had recently joined and was baptized into the Mormon Church. Also at this time I was involved in Boy Scouts through the church. I remember going on a week-long Boy Scout camping trip to Nauvoo, IL. I enjoyed those activities as well as the opportunity to visit many important historic Mormon sites. Unfortunately I didn’t stay active in Scouts to finish my Eagle. Our attendance in church usually depended upon my mom to be home, which for as far back as I can remember was never very often.

Entering my sixth grade school year meant going to a new, bigger school with other new kids from another Glendale elementary school, which at that age was scary. That year was ok. I spent most of my time after school riding my bike with friends exploring the neighborhood, throwing my paper route, collecting and trading baseball cards or hanging out at the mall playing the new sensation: video arcade games! 

Looking back, the innocence of those days was so great! I was part of a group of kids from our block who would gather for serious events such as a game of “pickle”: baseball played with a tennis ball to help avoid any broken windows (over the roof of the house across the street was a home-run) and the yearly crab-apple fight. What we’d do for that was put buckets over our heads to use as helmets (unless we could find a football helmet), we’d use trash can lids for shields, gather crab apples from a neighbor’s tree, and throw them at each other until: someone got hurt, we grew tired, a grown-up saw what we were doing and made us stop or we finally lost interest because none of the above had happened yet.

My sixth grade school year was ok. Some new classes I enjoyed but many more I didn’t. And of course there were the new teachers to get to know. With them came the childhood school rumors about one teacher having once been a Playboy Bunny, one of them being gay, one having bad breath and one ancient math teacher whose hands were so cold, was so mean and wrinkled, so close to death’s door she was looking to take some of us kids with her to the grave by touching us!

I did enjoy art class, cooking class, gym class and woodshop. Obviously I preferred “doing stuff” over keeping my nose in a book at my desk. It wasn’t that I had any trouble reading, I just found it boring. I regret that now because since coming to prison I’ve become an avid reader and realize how well that desire would have served me in school. I was fortunate to later marry a girl who loved to read, and I’m grateful for that same desire having been instilled into our daughter. I believe the love of reading to be a key to success in life.

I did have some fights in sixth grade, but nothing like what was to come in 7th and 8th grade. When I speak of fighting, it was limited to boxing and wrestling. Thank God our school was not plagued with the inner-city “urban” influence of guns, knives or the threat of being retaliated on by a group of others 10-on-1 because you whipped one of their friends. I really feel for all the many millions of kids whose voices are not being heard, whose plight is not being taken seriously enough: while they are trapped into suffering through that bullshit in so many schools these days.

My attention during these years now and to come was focused on life outside of school, rather than in school. Most of my friends outside of school were older than me and when summer vacation finally came around led me to stay away from home more and more and out at night later and later. Usually I got away from it because my mom was never home to order me to be grounded. My dad, as I’ve said, was of the old-school philosophy of raising boys which dictates to pretty much let me raise myself until my antics got him in trouble with my mom. Then I got “the stick” when I got home. He preferred to use a wooden stick to hit me with, rather than hurting his hand. He’d get plenty of opportunity to use the sonofabitch the next two years. For some reason I got into many more fights and much more trouble in seventh grade which led me to be sent home from school more and more. However there were some very fond memories from this year.

For example, I became close friends to a girl who would later agree to be my first girlfriend. That was quite an event in a young man’s life and we would remain dating for over two years. She and I were very close and spent a lot of time together at school, on the phone, and swimming at her house during the summer months. She turned me on to ‘80s music which I still love to this day. MTV was in it’s hey-day at the time, so much of our talk was about music and music videos. She was a huge Duran Duran fan, so I became an equal Duran Duran-crazed fan.

To put their popularity into perspective, they were the ‘80s version of the Beatles from the ‘60s.  My other favorite music performers from those days were: The Thompson Twins, The Police, U2, Culture Club, Howard Jones, Cyndi Lauper, Prince, Simple Minds, The Outfield, Bryan Adams as well as many one-hit-wonders. Due to the influence of the times especially my following Duran Duran it was during my 7th grade year that I pierced my (left) ear and bleached blond streaks in my hair. (Unfortunately there is still photographic evidence available!) This caused some trouble for me in school, some from the students but more from the administration. Our middle school had to create new rules to combat my antics, such as: no “loose” earrings (they didn’t want boys to wear them at all, but resorted to restricting them to studs) and also outlawing any coloring of hair.

Looking back, I can hardly imagine any type of explanation for my behavior. All the negative attention this brought me is quite the opposite of who I am now.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

My Childhood, continued.

Getting back to where I left off, I'll back up a bit.

Prior to moving to Glendale for my 4th grade year, I remember being a very angry kid. I was pissed for being picked-on because I was overweight. I was pissed-off because I was picked on for my stuttering. I was pissed off due to my treatment as a white kid in an inner-city school. (Racism and racial hatred is NOT a strictly "white thing"). Moving to the suburb of Glendale made all the difference in the world, however some picking-on continued for a little while, until I realized my size made me bigger and stronger than the bullies. When I started kicking the shit out of the bullies, the ridicule mostly quit but the stuttering continued which even without being picked on still caused me to feel like an outsider; like something was wrong with me.

As a young kid I remember wondering why the asshole kids who made fun of others all seemed to be popular and had friends, when they were really such jerks? Why did the girls like those assholes? I thought "If I were ever popular, I wouldn't be an ass like them." or "Why do some kids enjoy making others feel bad?" or "If I could only talk fluently without it breaking-up, I'd never waste my words by picking on others."

Looking back as I can now, I see it was these early years which formed much of who I still am today. The isolation that comes with stuttering as I mentioned earlier caused me to be very introverted. I remember spending much of my early childhood by myself. I would entertain myself for hours playing with my Star Wars action figures or organizing my baseball cards. My speech made me extremely shy, almost anti-social. However, if stuttering had any effect which may be considered "positive", it would be that because I couldn't talk, I did a lot of thinking. Rather than concentrating on others and everything around me, I spent much of my time "in my head".

Another positive thing I can say stuttering has caused is the fact that I'm forced to choose each and every word I say very carefully. I'm having to think ahead very rapidly, of what I'm going to say, and choose the words to use that I can say without trouble, all as the same time as I'm saying what I thought several seconds ago. It's quite literally like my mouth is on a several second delay behind where my mind is. Now, I don't claim to have a very extensive vocabulary, nor do I think I'm any better than the next person at being a good communicator. But, where I do believe the speech problem serves me well is in that I always think before I talk. During my life experiences, I've witnessed and known countless situations and people who would have benefited greatly if this trait were in use.

Some of the details of the sequence of these next events are somewhat of a blur, but it was during my 4th and 5th grade years in Glendale at Parkway Elementary School that I began to enjoy playing kick-ball (which I really enjoyed because I was good at it), softball (same thing) and riding my dirt bike around the neighborhood with friends. I also got my first job at this point. I went to work for Kallas Honey Farm, which was located at the corner of our block. I labeled empty honey jars for between 7 cents and 12 cents a case (this was 1982) for a few hours each day after school. I also created a several mile bike route I'd ride through the area checking dumpsters and trashcans for aluminum cans to recycle. With my hard-earned money I'd buy new parts for my bike, more baseball cards, or just have money in my pocket for when we'd hang out at the mall (Bayshore Mall).

Sixth grade began with the move into Glen Hills Middle School. It was a few miles further from home, but still well within walking or bike-riding distance when I missed the bus. I can't really put my finger on why it happened or what caused such a major change, but my middle school years were filled with lots and lots of trouble.

To Be Continued...

Monday, January 23, 2012

My Childhood

To those who have been following this blog site, I say "Hello" to you all.

I've decided to change the nature of this blog site and it's content and present more information about me. I'll do this over the course of the next several updates, beginning with my youth and eventually leading to the events which brought me to prison, what my prison sentence has been like and my current preparations for my upcoming release this year.

I was born in Milwaukee Wisconsin in July of 1971 to Charles John Mondroski of Mercer, WI and Janice Lynn Olheiser of Shorewood, WI.

My earliest memories are of having to change schools often in my early years due to our family moving around alot during that time. I do remember the difficult time I had while going to a public school in the "inner city" of Milwaukee. I was an overweight white kid who stuttered in a predominantly black school. Over 30 years later I still remember what those rough times were like, so my concern really goes out to all the kids who are trapped in similar situations in today's inner-city schools. Thank God we eventually moved from that situation, lived in Huntville, Alabama for my 3rd grade school year, then came back to Wisconsin and settled in Glendale; a nice suburb of Milwaukee.

My sister and I went to Parkway Elementary then on to Glen Hills Middle Schools. What I remember about my 4th and 5th grade years at Parkway was I played alot and was very good at kickball. Because of my size, I was always picked first for kickball, but my size also led to being picked-on until I started fighting back.

It was at these schools where I was fortunate to have access to some good speech therapy for my stuttering, although the speech fluency I'm blessed to have now didn't come until many, many years later. I bring up my stuttering early on in this biography not for sympathy, but because as I've grown up, I see how very much it affected my growing up and how much it influenced who I am today. I wonder sometimes how different my school years would have been had I not been scared to death to stand up in class and talk. How different my interactions with my peers would have been if I could have strung more than 3 or 4 words in a row together before my speech broke up.

My not being able to speak fluently as a child (and being ridiculed because of it) greatly influenced me into being extremely quiet, shy and introverted which remains to this day. However, it also led to some beneficial character traits that I'm grateful for...which I will share next time.

--Chris

Monday, January 2, 2012

January 2nd, 2012

I love my daughter.

I am grateful she accepts my apology; it gives me hope for our future. It meant a great deal to me to "hear" her say that she still loves me. Considering all I ruined, my fear of losing her love for me has been my biggest fear of all.

I'm sorry beyond words for what I did that caused us to be separated, but I hope she knows that I never, ever gave her up in my heart and mind. Anyone who says otherwise is simply not telling the truth.

My mistakes were 10 years ago. I am not that person anymore. Heavenly Father has quite literally given me a second chance at my life and it was his Words of Wisdom I broke. I hope to use this second chance to earn her forgiveness and a second chance in her life.

I know she's upset with me; she's got every right to be. I messed up everything. I hope she knows I would do or give anything to change that. I pray that someday I can. However, there is nothing to "fear"; if she still doesn't want me in her life, I'll respect that.

I hope to get a B.O.M. I wish the missionaries would send me one. Our chaplain's seem to be unable or unwilling to get me one. There are plenty of Qurans to go around, but no B.O.M.'s.

I know she'll keep up the good work in her schoolwork, music, sports and her church activities. She's always made me proud to be her dad. I hope she's enjoying her junior year and that she and her mom had a great Holiday Season. I think of her always, miss her so very much and I love her unconditionally.

Forever Her Dad

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Happy Birthday

I want to wish a happy birthday to a very special person.

Someone who was my very best friend. Someone who I never wanted to say goodbye to. Someone who was always on my mind whenever we were apart. Someone who was the prettiest girl I had ever seen, only matched by a beautiful little baby girl who was born a few years later.

Someone who was my soul-mate; brought into my life by the spirit of the Lord; until I ruined it.

Someone who so completely changed my life by her coming into it. Bringing more love, happiness, joy, affection, laughter, beauty, motivation, determination, meaning and purpose into my life than I have ever known. Someone who did for me the greatest service one person can do for another, by holding my hand as she introduced me to a life immersed in the spirit of the Lord, righteous living, and the blessings which come from it. Someone who I knelt across an alter from, in the house of the Lord, and made eternal promises to. Only for me to foolishly, selfishly, irresponsibly break years later.

Someone who gave me the greatest, most important, inspiring gift I could ever be given; the birth of a precious, blue-eyed, little baby girl. Somebody who loved me, supported me, believed in me, respected me and kept faith in me, until my selfish decisions and sins made it impossible to continue to do so. I'm sorry for the many nights you both waited up for me to come home; I'm even more sorry for all the many nights I didn't. I'm so sorry for letting you both down, for destroying your trust and taking your love for granted. I'm deeply sorry for all the pain, tears, anguish, heartache and suffering I've caused.

For all I've put you through since I strayed from our promises: I'm so sorry for ruining everything.

I wish you a happy birthday, and pray your days are happy; you deserve to be.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

9/1/11

If I could, I would share just a quick message to my favorite girl as she starts a new school year.

I hope she had a great 16th birthday!
I know with turning 16 comes driving, and I'm sure she's excited about that, I know I was at that age.

I know she's a very smart and responsible girl, and that her mom has no doubt done a fine job in helping her become a safe, smart driver. I wish I could tell her to please always remember that no matter how good a driver you are, never forget to always watch out for the other car, who isn't a good driver. They are the dangerous ones.

I believe that saying your prayers on a regular basis is a really good defense against what dangers life can throw at you, and your Father in Heaven is always there to listen and to help when you're in need of someone to talk to. I hope she has a strong relationship with Him and if not, it's never too late to start.

If I could I'd wish her good luck with her junior year of high school. I'd tell her to keep up the great work at school, her sports, her music and everything else. I'd let her know that she is always on my mind, in my heart and in my prayers. I love and miss her so much.

I know my word probably doesn't mean much anymore, and I deserve that, but I hope she knows how sorry I am to her and her mom as well for what all I did and caused for them both. I am so deeply sorry and hope for their forgiveness.

I long to make up to her for what I've done and all I owe her.

I wish I could tell her "Keep smiling, Sweetheart, you brighten everything and everyone around you with your smile. Take care, Princess, your Dad loves you! Have a great year!"

Your Dad

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Happy Birthday!

I want to wish a very special girl a big Happy 16th Birthday from her dad and my family, who all love and miss her so much.

I know today is such an exciting and happy day for her, and I hope she has a great day.

I wish I could share this day with her and am so very sorry that I can't. I hope she always remembers that she stays forever in my thoughts, my prayers and in my heart.

I hope she got lots of cool gifts and got to have lots of friends over.

I long to be in her life again someday, and am doing all I can to achieve that.

I wish I could tell her that "I love and miss you so much Sweetheart."

Happy Sweet 16th Birthday Honey

Love,
Your Dad